Stop over Apologizing for things out of your control

“It can even give a certain kind of person permission to treat you poorly, or even abuse you,”

Beverly Engel

Will Smith gave Janet Hubard an apology! “The first Aunt Viv” I was very happy when I heard that , because let’s be honest, the first Aunt Viv did her thing! 

Then after my fangirl from the sidelines happiness wore off, I realized, hold up, that apology is more than 25 years too late!. Apologizing for something that caused someone’s  pain is a must! ( I am not sure if an apology is even enough for Aunt Viv but that’s another story)

Guys, there are other times when an apology is not needed at all!

 There are some things that we should not apologize for. If something is out of our control, what’s the need to over apologize for it. 

Apologizing for things not necessary, can make us put their feelings above ours. For our own personal wellness, every situation does not deserve an apology. 

 I’m sharing 5 things we should not over apologize for

1.  Saying No

I am a lot better at saying no without an explanation than a few months ago. It feels good to know that saying “NO” is enough. If you feel overextended, or a situation constantly puts you in a bad situation, saying no can bring less stress to you.

2. Saying YES

I believe if doable every year you should treat yourself (or get treated) to something on your wishlist! I believe in taking off for a personal day. (Use your benefits!) Say yes to a dress. Say yes to a pair of new shoes. Say yes to a vacation, whether it’s a staycation or you booking something for next year. Say yes to a babysitter that you trust.  Let’s normalize treating ourselves and feeling good about it. Our own desires are valid to a good life and healthy self-esteem.  No apologies necessary. 

3. Changing your diet

Guys, you know I do not eat meat. Sometimes you do hear remarks about your diet. Remember you are doing it for you!  When you are outside of the comfort of your home, either bring your own food, or talk to the host or whoever upfront.  Last year when me and my friend Kim went out to an Italian restaurant, she apologized twice for her gluten free diet. (I am a very picky eater, so that was a first for me) There is no need, sometimes your diet is for your health, and has nothing to do with vanity pounds. There is no need to apologize if you do eat a certain diet.

( Now when it comes to proper dining etiquette, nothing wrong with doing some research if you are going to be at a nice event. That is if you need some help in that area and interested.)

4, Failure

We do not have to apologize for our failures. I may or may not want to dwell on them, but believe me you learn from them. You know what not to do the next time. 

5. Expressing an opinion

I’m sure that you’ve been in a situation, when someone asked you about your opinion. The problem with that, if you see it another way, (Um, different way than them, they do not like it!).  I see it like this if you were asked, and you said something you feel was  helpful, no need to feel bad about your opinion. It’s your value and beliefs.

Before We blurt out “I’m Sorry”, we need to make sure if there is something that we are actually sorry for. Over apologizing is sending energy that we are always at fault at something, and oftentimes that may not be the case.

What situations have you been in where you felt , like why am I constantly saying, I’m sorry?

Thanks for Reading,